I think every man knows this feeling: You arrange a date with a woman, and the anticipation keeps growing. The closer the meeting gets, the more a certain nervousness might start to creep in as well.
It may surprise you, but I also get a little nervous before meeting someone. After all, I don’t know exactly who will be waiting for me either, or how our encounter will unfold.
As a man, you probably want to come across as confident and self-assured, and you might worry that a woman won’t respond well if she notices that you’re nervous or shy. But is that really the case?
Personally, I quite often meet clients who are very nervous when we meet for the first time. And it doesn’t bother me at all. Quite the opposite: I think it’s a very natural reaction, and I actually find it endearing.
To me, there is a certain authenticity in being nervous and perhaps a little shy. After all, it shows that the situation affects you in some way. And authentic encounters are the ones I enjoy most anyway.
So you don’t have to hide your nervousness from me. Sometimes, it can even be a relief to simply say it out loud: “I’m actually pretty nervous right now.” Once it’s out in the open, some of the pressure to appear especially confident may already begin to disappear.
Of course, that nervousness can also get a little “in the way” at first. Maybe you suddenly don’t know what to say. Maybe you’re quieter than usual. Or perhaps certain parts of your body don’t quite behave the way you imagined they would beforehand. That’s authentic too. 😉
Usually, it helps to simply take things slowly at first. Arrive. Talk. Get to know each other a little. And if physical intimacy develops from there, the touching can be slow as well, without a particular goal and without the expectation that it immediately has to lead to something specific.
Perhaps, at some point, nervousness turns into curiosity. Tentative touches begin to feel more natural, and suddenly you realize that you’re no longer thinking about whether you seem confident enough.
And as far as I’m concerned, the nervousness doesn’t even have to disappear completely. A little bit of it is more than welcome to stay. After all, isn’t there something beautiful about an encounter that doesn’t feel completely ordinary?
So when you meet me, you don’t have to present the most confident and self-assured version of yourself. I much prefer the real person.